i want to love (part 15)

As i walked along the seashore i inhaled the ocean air. It smelled sweet yet salty, fresh yet very strange. The seagulls gawed their way on the sand searching for food. I took off my shoes and held them in my hand as i felt the cool water touch my toes. as i walked a couple of lovers were holding eachother's hand kissing at some point. When i saw this it made my face go bright red. i wished so much of walking on the seashore with the one i loved holding his hand. But for now it was just a dream. i walked and walked i walked until i lost myself in my own world. by the time i returned to reality i found that it was already 2:30. i got bored of the seashore and was heading for the resort's excersise room when...
"Alone this time huh?" Hoo bin said slowly approaching me
i froze. why is he here?? is he like stalking me or what??
"Dont worry there is no way i would be interested in you" Hoo bin said as if he had read my mind
i didnt speak and just started to back away from him.
"Why are you backing away?" Hoo bin asked
"Why are you being so nice to me?" i wanted to ask but didnt say anything
"Ah...the air feels good doesnt it?" Hoo bin asked
surprised i just nodded my head "yes"
"Want to walk with me?" Hoo bin asked nicely
i shook my head until it felt like it was about to fall off with a "NO"
"Guess not huh? i mean i have been bothering you...see you around." Hoo bin said with that he just left and walked away.
As he walked away he seemed lonely and hurt. I didnt know why but i could help but feel bad for him. He reminded me of me. With Hoo bin still in my mind i walked into the excersise room. There i started to run like a maniac on the machine. all the memories i tried to forget were returning to me. From the day my mother left to the father who got remarried and his step children bugging me to the fatness of myself to the bullying in school to the crazy dieting. It just all came to me in a rush and gave me a headache. i dont know how long i ran on the machine but by the time i was off i had lost 600 calories and it was already 3:30.
i rushed up to the room and ran into the bathroom. I had to meet Gyun hee at the lobby by 4. if i dont get there on time he would probably worry so in a rush i started to put shampoo on my hair applying conditioner and washing up, drying, dressing up and heading out the door. by the time i reached the lobby Gyun hee was waiting for me with a worried expression. shoot. Did i come to late?
"Mi hae... You could have at least dry your hair." Gyun hee said worriedly
"Ops..." i managed to say
"Hungry? Let's go" Gyun Hee said
"what are we having for lunch?" i asked excitedly
"You'll see. I think you will enjoy it." Gyun hee said with a smile
Yup! this was what i wanted to do for the whole three days while we were here. be in peace. Enjoy life and to be loved.

i want to love (part 14)

i sat by Gyun Hee ignoring the five who had followed. i wondered why they were there and wondered if we were headed to the same location. I mean Jae Joo do is big right?? they cant possibly be going to the same location right? i wasnt sure and that would have to wait. I fell asleep after a while and woke up by the shake of Gyun Hee.
"We will be arriving shortly." Gyun hee said
"Hmmm??? How long was i asleep?" i asked still eyes closed
"About 4 hours" Gyun Hee said
"Ah...You serious???" i asked sleepily slowly opening my eyes
"Yeah. As soon as we get there we can check in at the hotel" Gyun hee said
"O.k..." i said
We arrived shortly and for sure all of us ended up being at the same hotel. Gyun Hee and i went into the hotel and Gyun hee checked in one room. While the five checked in three rooms.
"Only one room??" i asked following Gyun hee towards the elevator
"Yeah. We are sharing" Gyun Hee answered with a smile
"Sharing???!!!!" i asked surprised
"Uh huh. We are only staying here for three days, i didnt want to waste money..." Gyun Hee said shyly
We were lifted up to the 13th floor by the elevator and Gyun Hee guided me to our room. As soon as i opened the door i found myself in a royal suite.
"Is this for real??....." i asked surprised by the view.
"Yup! you can get a great view of the ocean here" Gyun hee said
"Wah~~~ so pretty!!" i said
"Well i'm going to change and head out for the shoot. if you want to you can come with me" gyun hee said
"Ah...No..it's ok i'll just walk around" i said
"than we will have lunch together o.k?" Gyun Hee said
"Alright.. Call me when you are done" i said
"Yeah. i will." Gyun hee answered with his cute smile
gyun hee washed up, changed his clothes and headed out while i explored the huge suite. i went out to the balcony and breathed in the fresh ocean air.
"Hmmm...So we are neighbors huh?" a voice said
i turned and looked. it was my enemy, Hoo bin i stared at him with a dumbfounded expression. i knew we were in the same hotel but why did we have to be neighbors!
"you dont have to stare at me i know i'm handsome" Hoo bin said concietedly
i didnt speak.
"Well i'm off than. Enjoy!" hoo bin said. "I'll probably see you around" He added and left
Did he just say "See you around?" i didnt want to see him. i came to Jae Joo do to have some peace to have some freedom but to be stuck my worst nightmares??! you got to be kidding me!! i let out a sigh and left the balcony i was going to meet up with gyun Hee at 4 it was only 1:30 i had time to kill and so i also changed and headed out for the ocean

i want to love (part 13)

Another day had gone and another night fell. Gyun Hee and I would wake up at 5 and excersise until 6. Go to school by 7 and end at 3 come home by 4 and have dinner(gyun Hee would) and go excersise again. this routine kept me busy and at the same time helped me loose weight. My goal was to loose the 290 pound i have into 110. For the time being the three annoying bastards and the two perky females left me alone. Spring break started and i started on my plan.
"Spring break starts from today. What are you planning to do?" Gyun Hee asked
"planning to loose weight" i answered directly.
"Hmmm i see. Well i have a shoot to go to." gyun hee said
"Have fun!" i said enthusiastically.
"Umm....i was going to ask if you wanted to come with me" Gyun Hee said
"Wont i be a bother?" i asked
"No! Not at all!" Gyun Hee said
"but...Wont you be embarrassed going with me?" i asked
"Of course not! it's only three days and two nights!" Gyun hee said
"Well...o.k than" i said
"We will be leaving tomorrow so hurry up and pack!" gyun hee said excited.
As instructed i went up to my room and started to pack my overly large t-shirts and pants. i havent noticed, but lately i had lost alot of weight. from the 290 i had from the start i was 260. The diet menu and exercise gyun hee made me do was really helpful. That night we headed out as usual breathing in the deep night air and running through town with the moon and stars. i was accustomed to the morning and night exercises as well as the celery and fruit menu with no dinner. Morining came by fast and i rose once again to the lovely smell of Gyun hee's cooking.
"Morning gyun oppa" i said as i head down the stairs sleepily.
"Moring Mi hae. You ready to go?" Gyun Hee asked
i looked at our front door and found two luggages. Mine and Gyun hee's. We were to go to Jae Joo do for Gyun Hee's photo shoot. since he was a well known actor/singer we were to go in a private plane.
"hurry up and eat your breakfast or we will miss our plane" gyun hee said
"O.K!" i said excited that i will be going on a trip to where i never have gone to.
We ate our breakfast quickly and Gyun hee drove to the airport where our private plane awaited us. the private plane consisted of the staff members and some other actors. What i didnt like about this private plane was that it signaled me to have another nightmare. Besides the staff members and Gyun hee the five people i didnt want to see for the rest of break were sitting there.

i want to love (part 12)

We headed out the door. Gyun Hee and I. Side by side we walked to school together. I had a feeling that it will be a great day. No one will bother me as long as Gyun hee is there and also i was proud since i lost a little bit of weight. I had the determination of going back to the girl i was. Skinny, tall, and cute looking. For the sake of Gyun Hee i was going to meet this goal. As we entered the classroom all eyes fell upon us. Mutter was going around the room and curiousity was spreading around.
"Look, Look, Its Jang Mi hae" one student started
"She has the nerves to come here with Gyun Hee" another gilr said
"Jae soo upsa (what a b****)" said another girl.
i walked through the muttering and chattering and followed Gyun Hee to our seats. Class started soon after and i just awaited for the day to go by. Math, English, Social Studies, than Lunch...
Lunch time came and i sat quietly as Gyun hee unwrapped his lunch and signaled me to open mine. I slowly opened my lunch which held only celery and fruits.
"What's for lunch today?" Hoo bin asked
"Oh. What a surprise, it's not the usual" Yo tae started
"Dont mind them" Gyun Hee said
"What is this? You guys switched lunch or something?" No mae asked
"Oh My! Look at fatty trying to loose weight" Myun Ha started
"She could try all she want but she wont loose that fat" Hun Hya added
"Just eat. Dont pay attention to them" Gyun hee said
I was about to take my first bite when Myun Ha and Hun Hya came over and knocked my food over. i was growing in rage. That was the first lunch someone had made for me ever since my mother's death!
"Oops. My hands must have slipped" Hun Hya said
"I guess there is no choice but to eat it off the floor" Myun Ha said
"That will be a good sight to see" Hoo bin said
"Why dont you get on your knees and hand and lick it off the floor??" No mae joked
i who couldnt do anything stayed silent. I remembered that i will get back at them when i grew older. Gyun Hee who was watching beside me stood up and calmly walked over to the two girls.
"Why dont you guys pick that up for me?" gyun Hee asked in a sweet voice
Girls could never resist Gyun hee's request and so Myun ha and Hun Hya quickly picked up the food.
"Thank you." Gyun Hee said again in a sweet voice.
"idiots." Hoo bin said silently.
"here you go Mi hae you can share with me" Gyun hee said handing me his portion of salad.
Once again there were eyes staring at me daggers piercing through me. i felt the heat of jealousy and the rage of madness. I thought when will this torture end? Even if i had Gyun Hee now, he wont be with me forever. he has his life to take and i have mine. i had to make a decision. and that was to loose weight during the spring break. We had two months in our break and so the decision was made. i was going to loose weight and show the ones how much i changed. make those who laughed at me pay for laughing. and so another day went by with just another day before my start of plan.

i want to love (part 11)

We stepped into the night. The air was cold but yet wonderful. the full light of the moon and the stars shining up above us.
"Come on Mi Hae!" gyun hee said already walking a few feet ahead
"Wait up!" i yelled catching up to him.
We started to walk around the block talking about the past three years we have missed and how we have been. After twenty minutes we were digested and we started our jogging. We jogged and jogged until we were both out of breath.(especially me) ㅠ.ㅠ when we reached the first two steps of our house i couldnt move another step. but with the support of my brother i was able to go up the stairs to my room.
"Great job today" Gyun hee said helping me on my bed
"Do we have to do this everyday??" i asked
"Yup. this is the only way to loose weight and keep your body fit and healthy" gyun hee said professionaly
"dont you have any work today. you will be tired right" i said making excuses
" i am never tired in helping my sister" gyun hee said proudly
"good night oppa" i said with a sigh
"good night Mi Hae" gyun hee whispered
Without me knowing i have fallen asleep and was woken up by the morning sun. My whole body was aching from the sudden excersise and i couldnt get up. i heard my name from the distance but couldnt get myself out of my bed
"JANG MI HAE!!!!" Gyun hee called from the distance
"Mom....just for another minute" i said still eyes closed
"YOU ARE GOING TO BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!!!" Gyun Hee called
i forced myself out of bed and walked into the bathroom where i looked at myself in the mirror. In the mirror facing me was a girl. Messy hair, blubber fat, no sex appeal but on her were loose clothes. i looked down at myself. Surely the tight XXL shirt and pants were loose on me! This was unbelievable! I rushed through washing my face and brushing my teeth and slipped on my uniform. Even my uniform fit easily!!! i ran down the stair case and into the living room
"Gyun OPPA!!!" i cried with joy
"What's up with the energetic attitude this morning?" gyun hee asked
"oppa i lost weight!!! My uniform fits me easily now!!" i said complimenting myself
"I told you. If you try you can do it" Gyun hee complimented.
"what's for breakfast?" I asked eager and hungry
"salad" Gyun he answerd simply
"salad.....again???" i said
"until you loose weight" Gyun Hee reminded.
"for lunch???" i asked hope in my voice
"This" he said holding up a small packed lunch
"that's it??? than whose is that???" i asked pointing to a medium sized lunch box"
"Mine of course" gyun hee answered with a huge smile
So at the end we ended having salad for breakfast and we headed out the door for another "great" day. Well at least i hoped to be a better day than the other days i have experienced. With Gyun Hee by my side i was sure it would be a great day.

i want to love (part 10)

i hurridly opened the door for my step brother. i was so happy. there were no words to express this feeling.
"Hurry up and go change" Gyun hee said
"O.k i'll be down in a minute and than i'll cook something for you" i said proudly
"no it's o.k i will cook today but starting tomorrow no dinner" Gyun Hee said
"NO DINNER???!!!! WHY???!!!" i whined
"i am going to help you loose weight" Gyun hee said
"but.. oppa i tried everything, i tried excersising, i tried eating a little and i even tried not eating for a day" i said
"You probably tried but ended up eating alot at the end right??" gyun hee said
"how did you know???" i asked
"i know you well. Just go up and get changed. After dinner we are going to go run" Gyun hee said
"Ah... i dont want to" i whined
"Jang Mi hae you will loose weight! i know you could do it you were so skinny before i believe you" gyun Hee said
With that he entered the room i appointed him to and i headed to my room. while changing i started to think. Thats right i could do it and if gyun oppa wants me to i would. after quickly changing i stepped downstairs and was greeted by an extordinary smell of food. I entered the kitchen and was surprised to see what lay on the table before me
"OH MY GOSH" i exclaimed
"Enjoy your dinner" Gyun Hee said
i sat down right away and reached my hand for the meat when gyun hee stopped me and handed me a plate full of carrots, tomatoes, and celery.
"this is your dinner" Gyun Hee said
"What??!! than what is all this food for" i asked
"Of course it's for me" Gyun Hee explained
i couldnt believe it. I was stucke with celery while Gyun ate all the extrodinary food???? was he joking??? i wanted to cry but i reminded myself that i had to loose weight and ate with a complain. Our dinner time went by fast and the dishes were washed, dried, and put away
"Alright Mi Hae. Let's go" gyun hee said
"Huh??? go where" i asked
"Dont try to get out of it. I told you we were going to go running" Gyun Hee said
"But we just ate!!!" i made and excuse
"Dont worry we will walk around the block for digestion and than we will start jogging" Gyun Hee explained patiently
"Alright...." i said following Gyun hee out the door and into the dark night

i want to love (part 9)

hoo bin didnt say another word. instead he just fell silent and left me alone. The day went by fast and the classes have ended. i started to walk home. Gyun hee who had never once left my side was walking with me. i finally got the courage to speak
"Why are you following me?" i asked
"I'm not following you" Gyun Hee answered
"Do you live around this area?" i asked again
"yeah. Didnt dad tell you that i was going to live with you?" gyun hee said
"i havent spoke to my dad in..." I trailed off
Wait! DID he just say DAD???!!!! if it is than that means he is my step brother. Ever since i was young and my mother passed away i hated my father. he was the reason my mother died. he was the bastard who didnt care about me or my mother. Because of him my mother suffered so much. when i moved into his new house he lived with his new wife and two children. The older one was cold but yet very gentle with me. secretly he would smile and give me little treats for me to eat. The reason i am so fat right now is because my father and step mother neglected me at the age of 14 my father sent me out of the house and i was living in this house alone. but the sudden word of "Dad" reminded me of why the smile was so familiar It was him! My Angel! My Gaurdian! My breath! It was Gyun Oppa!
"Gyun Oppa???" i asked in confusion.
"Finally you recognized me Mi hae" gyun Hee said with a smile.
"No way...." i said tears in my eyes
I couldnt help but go up to the guy and hug him tight. i wanted to feel his warmth so much. I was so lonely and yet now i knew nothing would trouble me. I felt safe.
"Alright. Enough with the hugging let's go home. It's getting late" Gyun hee said.
"Yeah. Lets go home" i answered with a huge smile on my face